LONDON, 18th November. News is reaching us here at BlindKiss of an unprovoked attack on a popular chain supermarket in North West London by a small group of masked blind raiders.
At 8:30 last night three masked individuals, two using white canes and one using a guide dog, rushed into Sainsbury's Finchely Road store wielding hand guns and pushing and scattering terrified shoppers in their wake.
The apparently blind threesome seemed to have a specific target, rushing straight towards a stand alone set of shelving holding hundreds of cut price cans of food. One of the blind men marched up and down patrolling the area with his guide dog as the other two layed into the shelving, grabbing cans, ripping off the labels and replacing the unlabeled metal containers back on the shelves in random order.
Detective Inspector Jane Byng later gave us this comment "this was an outrageous and highly co-ordinated attack on the supermarket. They managed to rip labels from almost 300 food cans within 3 minutes, leaving the floor littered with paper labels and shiny metal containers. They left firing shots and jumped into a waiting Dial-a-Ride vehicle"
BlindKiss spoke with several customers who witness the crime
"They were terrifying, blind and terrifying,"
said one. "I suspect the three blind men were just bitter" said another perceptively.
Meanwhile at 9pm as the store closed, shop workers were doing over time picking up unlabeled food cans, shaking them and listening to work out what each might contain.
"It's ridiculous," said one Sainsbury's shelf stacker "How on Earth are we going to work out what's inside these cans with no labels on? We're just going to have to open each one up, one at a time, and physically look inside each can. It's a joke"
The Met Police said last night that they suspected this might be the first of many attacks by the blind terrorist group they believe to be called the B.L.O. - Blind Liberation Organisation. BlindKiss will bring you more as events develop.