Well cheer up boys things are looking up. Salvation is here in the guise of Jane.

Jane is the latest voice to be added to the RealSpeak soft ware synthesiser and comes as part of the Kurzweil 1000 self voicing OCR package.

The press release for the new product had only one thing to say about the new addition to the suite of voices which come as standard with K1000 and that was:

"Jane, she's very nice".

But that, believe it or not, is not all. Another new feature which appears in version 6 of k1000 is the ability to convert scanned text, or any other file format supported by k1000 for that matter, in to an mp3 audio file.

Those of you who have read my previous articles are I'm sure leaps and bounds ahead by now. An attractive female voice which can record text as audio files? Surely its just too much for a technoholic sex starved immature geek like cobblers to resist!

Dead right.
Within ours of the gorgeous Jane dropping on to my door mat I was Emailing various unsavoury mp3s around the globe much to the delight of many of my cyber pals.

Actually if the truth be told Jane sounds more like a frumpy middle-aged school teacher than a nubile young wench but I didn't let that put me off. After all I am Cobblers!

If you'd like to hear a sample of the lovely miss Jane for yourself just click right here. (Those of a sensitive disposition will be reassured to know that our illustrious editors have put their collective foot very firmly on my nether-regions and the sample provided, is as a consequence, nothing less than a hundred percent tasteful.) Sorry to disappoint boys!