This then is the cobblers guide to starting a family chapter 1 - minus 40 to minus 20 weeks.

Not paying for it any more, the woman is captured, and the only sport being played is between the sheets. This isn't biology class. If you need a refresher on what comes after the blind kissing ask Damon and Sara this folks is the adult feature. Grow up and smell the coffee.

So there's a baby on the way Once you're over the shock and excitement then out comes the inner bloke. It's time to hit the internet and research what's going on. The chemistry is the simple part, Websites like Baby Centre (address later) can tell you everything you didn't know you needed to know about the miracle of life but as you've come to expect on BlindKiss it's the people that make the difference.

Treat me stupid
Health services are of course different around the world but wherever you live you will at some stage have to jump in to the system and tell some one what you've done. This is no great effort and not at all uncomfortable. Ok so I'm on the man's side of the fence so what would I know, but as far as I can tell the outside world isn't that interested for the first 3 months or so. Sure there's the sickness the constant sleeping and the messed up hormones, and Mrs Cobbs isn't feeling too great either (hoho, did you see that one coming?) but other than that it's pretty much life as usual. Oh hum that's if you don't count the change of diet, no smoking, no drinking, and taking of vitamins and supplements but again that's all just girls stuff and of no interest to the heartless Cobblers - my mother gave birth to me in the middle of a field then put me on her back and carried on digging don't you know?

It wasn't until about week twelve that I had to grit my teeth and come face to face with a member of the medical profession at our first ultrasound scan. Theoretically this is straight forward enough. Mrs Cobbs lay down while nursey ran a gadget over her and a picture of the devil child popped up on the screen. You guessed it though. Nothing is ever that simple.

"Would you like to come round here so you'll be able to see the screen?" wasn't the expected question but hey anyone can be forgiven for being a little unobservant, after all I'd left the Guide Dog at home.

"No, I'm blind".

Oh ok, not quite true, I wasn't that harsh in my explanation. See Cobblers can be gentle and caring at times, (just don't tell anyone will you). Things however went rapidly down-hill from here on in. I might as well of said "no thank you, I'm invisible", as from that point onwards every effort was made to ignore my presence. The only possible reason for this I conclude is overwhelming medical evidence that while a blind person can sire a child they are not capable of speaking for themselves or engaging with another human being.

Happy tidings however were around the corner. For various reasons, not in the main related to the above the cobblers family transferred to a different local hospital and with an inefficiency only to be expected of the N.H.S had to go for another scan as they have yet to work out how to transfer records across an astronomical distance of five miles. While not exactly painless this was less traumatic and as well as pictures we got to listen to babies heartbeat on the ultrasound machine. A capability which is apparently present on all machines so if you find yourself in this position insist on the right to listen in.

Anyway that's enough of the medical gubbins I'm sure there'll be plenty of that later on when it comes to all that messy birth stuff.

Quandaries
Being the man in the equation I at times have felt a little out of things, my clothes still fit me, my breasts aren't getting larger, my stomach isn't swelling any faster (well not as fast as hers anyway), I can still drink both tea and coffee without feeling sick and I haven't started smiling insanely at women with push-chairs in the street. Given all this then I've had to find something of my own to fixate on and what better than my own very personal fascits.

My Guide Dog - oh how he'll enjoy going to anti-natal classes (apparently they're called parent-craft these days), all those people sitting on the floor panting just like he does. Something he can join in on at last. But what about the birth, is it a good idea to take him in to the delivery room or not I wonder. Is a guide dog jumping on your tummy during Labour likely to help or not? and might eating the afterbirth make him sick I wonder.

Nor does it end there. Once we fetch the little bundle of joy home what will be the safest way for me to carry him or her around, slings, harnesses, seats cradles, carry-cots, you thought buying a house, car or computer was complicated, just wait till you're preparing for a family.

Help!
Surely I'm not the first blindkisser who's gotten a little carried away and found themselves upgrading that tandem to a bicycle made for three so where can I go for topical help and advice.

Where else of course but old faithful the RNLI! Errrm no, unfortunately not. There's a surprise eh?

They do carry a small amount of drivle for Mr and Mrs Norm who have just found out that their perfect off-spring is cursed with that highly contagious, brain sapping disease we all know as blindness but for those of us already afflicted I'm afraid they have little to offer. Indeed why should they we're already condemned.

Ricability (http://www.ricability.org.uk) is a UK based charity which consumer tests products and services for disabled people and includes blind and visually impaired people in it's user panels. I've found their information to be generally good although much of it is a couple of years old at least so exact product info will be out of date. It does give lots of pointers and ideas though.

There are a few internet discussion groups around too, the most active of which seems to be the Blind-Parents group on yahoo (see notes at the end if you're interested in joining), most members are in the USA and the majority of talk is social and dominated by a few members but then this is true of most discussion lists. Questions when asked are always acknowledged and sometimes answered. The list is relatively high volume and probably only suitable for those who check their mail every day or two.

Shopping
If you like shopping then baby time is your time. It's gadgets a go-go. There's an unbelievable array of stuff you can buy and some of it you'll probably need but so far I've found internet shops pretty poor for this particular market and it's not just accessibility that's causing problems. Missus Cobbs has been disappointed too.

The bottom line
Nappy changing aside I'm ecstatic about the whole ball-game. Being a blind parent I don't anticipate will be any more frustrating or rewarding than being a blind anything else, or an anything else parent and if all else fails well at least I'll have some one my own age to play with.

Notes:
Mrs Cobbs? - Don't panic you didn't miss an episode, "missus" is a convenient adjective to describe my other half, we haven't given in to social norms and hot-footed it down to the registry office or anything.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk is a general advice site for new parents and parents to be sponsored by some big corporate maker of baby lotions, the American version is at http://www.babycentre.com and also features an online shop (unlike the UK site).